E23: Tylan Grant
At just 16, Tylan Grant made history as the first black actor to portray a character on mainstream TV with autism spectrum disorder, winning multiple awards.
His role in Hollyoaks reflects his own experiences with gender identity and neurodivergence. In this chat with Ben, Tylan discusses the link between Autism spectrum disorder and gender dysphoria, his experience on the Hollyoak's set, transcendental meditation, and managing social anxiety.
Transcript
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:24:06
Tylan Grant
When I went to school and told people I was autistic, they did not believe me. Nothing came from it. No adjustments were made, no help was offered. Growing up, I was like, I feel like an alien. I feel like I'm visiting here. And then being trans, I feel like I need to over compensate on both sides were having to mask.
00:00:24:08 - 00:00:37:24
Tylan Grant
I had to figure out am I going to choose acting or choose my gender? I'm scared of the world that I've protected myself from my entire life.
00:00:38:01 - 00:01:08:19
Ben Branson
We've had such a great response to the podcast, and so many of you have been in touch asking what you can do to help. It's really simple. Just follow. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. That way we can reach more people, and that way we can celebrate these great minds that think differently. At just 16 years old, Tylan Grant made television history as the first black actor to portray an autistic character on mainstream TV.
00:01:08:21 - 00:01:31:08
Ben Branson
His compelling performance earned him accolades such as Best Newcomer, Best Young Actor, and Celebrity of the year. Thailand's character in Hollyoaks mirrors many aspects of his own life, including his journey with gender identity and neuro divergence. I can't wait to share this one with you. Thailand is an amazing role model for living authentically and fearlessly. Let's get into it.
00:01:31:10 - 00:01:41:04
Ben Branson
Let's see how great minds think differently.
00:01:41:06 - 00:02:09:06
Ben Branson
I sort of failed to start this by reading something to you, and it's something that you said. What you said really touched me. I wanted to read it back to you and hear what you think about it. Now. To my trans family, euphoria and liberation is our birthright. Please never give up on it. Our happiness is worth it.
00:02:09:08 - 00:02:20:08
Tylan Grant
Yeah, I remember saying that, writing that after I had my top surgery last year, and that was something that was really on my heart.
00:02:20:10 - 00:02:21:14
Ben Branson
Why did you write that?
00:02:21:16 - 00:02:44:05
Tylan Grant
I think because I had fought so hard to get to where I was, and I was privileged in so many ways to be able to access the help that I needed, even if I had to fight for that and having kind of had that literal, like weight off my chest. I was like, oh, wow. Like, I feel free.
00:02:44:07 - 00:03:03:01
Tylan Grant
So many people asking me how does it feel? Where like, do you feel like different? I'm like, no, I felt weird and different then, and I feel myself now and I just want everyone to feel like that. And, and I think everyone should feel like that. And so my trans brothers and sisters, all my trans people should feel like that too.
00:03:03:01 - 00:03:31:01
Tylan Grant
They should be able to feel comfortable in their body and be able to actualize who they are and have that be reflective when they look at themselves. And yeah, it's not something that is a ask or should be a fight. It should be a birth, right? I think everyone has the right to feel comfortable in themselves and feel confident in themselves, and to that was something I just felt was really a strong message.
00:03:31:02 - 00:03:34:12
Tylan Grant
After I had my surgery and that was really on my heart.
00:03:34:14 - 00:03:40:15
Ben Branson
And what feedback did you get from putting that out there?
00:03:40:17 - 00:03:46:23
Tylan Grant
A lot of love I got. I mean, I also got a lot of hate, but the people closest to me, I had so much love.
00:03:46:23 - 00:03:47:15
Ben Branson
I think a lot.
00:03:47:16 - 00:04:02:03
Tylan Grant
Hey, I did, I did I mean, I think it really depends where you look. And I was so happy that it doesn't faze me. It was a bit harsh at that point because I had just come out of surgery.
00:04:02:03 - 00:04:05:00
Tylan Grant
And I was like, in bed, you know?
00:04:05:00 - 00:04:33:11
Tylan Grant
But it was just a lot of back and forth discourse about my body. And so that felt very a lot. But overall, the response was overwhelmingly positive. And I had so many lovely messages. When I put things that are personal to me out there, it's an hope that someone she was going through something similar can see it and be like, wow, I resonate, or I haven't thought about this or didn't think that anyone else did.
00:04:33:13 - 00:04:54:01
Tylan Grant
That being said, I've I've definitely I do believe that it's not up to trans people to be the spokesperson for a whole community, and I don't see myself as that by any means, but I definitely feel like if I can help just one person, then that's enough for me.
00:04:54:01 - 00:04:57:00
Ben Branson
And do you see the same with being autistic?
00:04:57:06 - 00:05:28:02
Tylan Grant
Yeah, definitely. I was diagnosed when I was six, when I went to school and told people I was autistic or my parents told the teachers, showed them the information, they did not believe me. And, nothing came from it. No adjustments were made, no help was offered. Nothing happened from that. I think me being autistic has shaped a lot of my life experiences and the way people speak to me, or the way I internalize or respond or understand things.
00:05:28:04 - 00:05:33:06
Tylan Grant
And so I feel like I've had to go through a lot of trial and error to be able to get where I am now.
00:05:33:09 - 00:05:49:13
Ben Branson
It's confusing, isn't it, sometimes, and is complex. You know, I've only I only got my diagnosis less than two years ago. I'm 41 now, so I'm like 39 going, you know, I suddenly kind of learning how my brain works.
00:05:49:13 - 00:05:50:03
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:05:50:03 - 00:06:01:13
Ben Branson
And on the one hand, everything falling into place, everything feeling like it all makes sense. And then on the other hand, it's going okay. So what does that mean now?
00:06:01:15 - 00:06:06:03
Tylan Grant
How's a constant thing that hasn't stopped for me? I had to, like, get to know myself.
00:06:06:04 - 00:06:10:04
Tylan Grant
Yeah, thanks. It's only the beginning. But also only.
00:06:10:04 - 00:06:22:12
Tylan Grant
It's not only the beginning because you actually, in a way, go back to all of your past experiences. And I'm guessing you've kind of been like, wait a second. That makes sense now.
00:06:22:14 - 00:06:28:04
Ben Branson
What's it like being autistic in your 20s in 2024?
00:06:28:06 - 00:06:56:22
Tylan Grant
I feel like it's different. It's definitely different how I grew up. I now feel like I have more of a community. I definitely know a lot more neurodivergent people, and I think it's more of a conversation now. Whereas I had to really explain myself to people constantly growing up. And I think a lot of people to an extent, are aware of what autism is.
00:06:56:24 - 00:07:06:16
Tylan Grant
I do feel like I've been in spaces now where being autistic celebrated, and I don't know if that's a thing now or it's just taken me more time.
00:07:06:17 - 00:07:08:04
Ben Branson
Give me an example of one of those.
00:07:08:08 - 00:07:10:16
Tylan Grant
I made a friend recently.
00:07:10:18 - 00:07:13:11
Ben Branson
I love that phrase. I made a friend recently.
00:07:13:11 - 00:07:16:20
Tylan Grant
Yeah, I love that. Feels good. Yeah. That's good.
00:07:16:22 - 00:07:18:23
Ben Branson
Sorry to say, interrupted.
00:07:18:23 - 00:07:24:15
Tylan Grant
I did make a friend recently. That phrase. I was at the cinema, watching.
00:07:24:15 - 00:07:48:18
Tylan Grant
My favorite film, and he was sat next to me and my sibling, and we ended up talking, and, there's something that I like to call. Well, I guess in some ways, a sixth sense when you just know someone's autistic, and we just we just saw each other, and there were moments where I was like, wow, it's so easy speaking to another autistic person.
00:07:48:18 - 00:08:13:06
Tylan Grant
It's just different. I just feel so liberated in that, like, we can literally be having two different conversations at the same time, and I and there's never a point where, you know, sometimes I'll be speaking to someone and we're talking and they're like, that was random. And I'm like, that wasn't. I thought conversations are meant to like, you know, you switch topics all the time and it's great not to feel weird.
00:08:13:07 - 00:08:29:04
Tylan Grant
It's great to feel celebrated in that. And also just in the things that I'm interested in meeting other people that I love film, and I feel like I've met a lot of people that recently that also interested in things I'm into. Yet to find an ice hockey fan, but that's fine.
00:08:29:07 - 00:08:34:06
Ben Branson
Hey, look, we can talk for Mighty Ducks because we're both fans and my ducks.
00:08:34:08 - 00:08:35:15
Tylan Grant
Are so good.
00:08:35:15 - 00:08:37:13
Ben Branson
So good. Okay, let's do it. That is.
00:08:37:13 - 00:08:39:20
Tylan Grant
Best. Yes. Agreed. Yeah.
00:08:39:21 - 00:08:41:13
Tylan Grant
Though I haven't seen The Breakfast Club, so.
00:08:41:13 - 00:08:46:00
Ben Branson
Yeah. Me neither. Okay, so film is a big interest. That area for you?
00:08:46:02 - 00:09:07:17
Tylan Grant
Yeah, massively. I'm trying to visit every store, every store in London. And then I'm rating the films, also rating the environment and, like, the employees and stuff, like the vibe I got, I'm trying to, like, collect DVDs and then play them on my projector, and that feels really good. And. Wow. Yeah, you don't always know what you're going to get.
00:09:07:19 - 00:09:08:07
Tylan Grant
I mean, it.
00:09:08:07 - 00:09:15:14
Ben Branson
Is how are you, 22? Yeah, 22 year old and DVDs. I mean, God, I sound so old.
00:09:15:14 - 00:09:17:13
Tylan Grant
You should see my room. It's like.
00:09:17:15 - 00:09:18:13
Ben Branson
What is your read that.
00:09:18:19 - 00:09:19:00
Tylan Grant
A.
00:09:19:00 - 00:09:22:13
Tylan Grant
Lot of Twin Peaks. It's almost like, not cool.
00:09:22:15 - 00:09:33:07
Tylan Grant
It's a lot of, like, Twin Peaks posters and like, board games and like Twin Peaks calendars. Twin peaks picture of, Dell Cooper and.
00:09:33:09 - 00:09:53:10
Tylan Grant
Sheriff Truman framed next to my bed. I thought of Twin Peaks. I think my room is a very safe space for me, because it feels like an extension of who I am, in a way, because I like to collect little things that are reflective of all the things I love. And so it's like almost like a fun little trinket museum.
00:09:53:10 - 00:10:11:19
Tylan Grant
I think that's why physical media is very important for me, like obsolete media, like I have stereos and Walkmans and projectors and iPods and I just, I like to keep things that I can feel and like know is real. And won't just disappear one day. You know.
00:10:11:21 - 00:10:23:09
Ben Branson
I've kept iPods, cameras, video cameras, partly because I like to show my children that this is what it is.
00:10:23:14 - 00:10:24:13
Tylan Grant
Yes.
00:10:24:15 - 00:10:36:03
Ben Branson
You know, it used to be separate. You didn't have these things. This one item that can be a video camera, camera, you know, music staying and a phone.
00:10:36:03 - 00:11:00:01
Tylan Grant
Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. And I think also with like, cycles and everything, everything's always going back. There's something really beautiful about like the imperfection of something that's constantly evolving and like technology is constantly changing. And yeah, I mean, like when you go and get the Shrek DVD and that like menu comes up, nothing else compares. You don't get DVD menus.
00:11:00:03 - 00:11:02:15
Tylan Grant
I don't get menus anymore. It's great.
00:11:02:17 - 00:11:03:15
Ben Branson
Bonus.
00:11:03:15 - 00:11:09:10
Tylan Grant
Yeah, yeah you don't. They're just commentary. It's it's great. Yes, I love that.
00:11:09:12 - 00:11:36:11
Ben Branson
Obviously we've had Carrie. You're wonderful, brilliant mother on her first guest. And she gave us a brilliant insight into your family home life. I'd like to hear that from you. What's home like? Family. Those relationships. Having a totally neuro spicy family. Can you tell me about that?
00:11:36:13 - 00:12:08:04
Tylan Grant
Yeah. We are a very interesting household. I feel like each of us have very different ways of existing, but we make it work, you know? And and we're constantly learning more about each other. And I feel like it's, it's it's always been a space of great growth. I think I, I've reached an age where I was like, wait, I can talk to my parents about stuff like, oh, I can't come out.
00:12:08:10 - 00:12:30:24
Tylan Grant
They've actually always been pretty accepting. I'm very lucky to have that. But I think because I was, you know, the second you leave the house, the world doesn't look like that. And so I thought, oh, maybe they won't accept me, but I think I'm constantly learning. No, like, this is safe. This is this is a welcoming space.
00:12:30:24 - 00:12:33:00
Ben Branson
How mealtimes, meal times.
00:12:33:00 - 00:12:55:22
Tylan Grant
Interesting. Because I never realized that things, strange until other people like, oh, no, like, no, we don't do that. Like, that's not a thing people do. So, like, growing up, when we would eat as a family, my parents would be like, no singing at the dinner table. And I every where I went. Like, I take that with me.
00:12:55:22 - 00:12:59:03
Tylan Grant
Like, even if I was at the school canteen, I'd be like that. You can't sing like we're.
00:12:59:03 - 00:13:02:05
Tylan Grant
Eating like the manners, like, read the room.
00:13:02:05 - 00:13:13:02
Tylan Grant
And then I think one day I went to a family's friend's house and one of the parents was like, wait, what? Like, what do you mean? I see the dinner table? Like, that's not rule anyone has.
00:13:13:02 - 00:13:17:13
Tylan Grant
So I guess that's just my family, because I think because we're always singing.
00:13:17:13 - 00:13:53:07
Tylan Grant
In our house, like there's always some kind of noise coming from every direction. So we don't eat as a family animal or we don't as much unless there's certain occasions. Because for me personally, I find it quite hard to eat in front of people. I struggle with, like noise, and I find it easier to watch something whilst I eat, so I tend to watch TV whilst I eat, which I know maybe people don't agree with, but that's just how I function and flourish.
00:13:53:11 - 00:13:59:23
Ben Branson
You know I cannot stand. Is watching someone on TV.
00:14:00:00 - 00:14:02:08
Tylan Grant
Eat yes.
00:14:02:10 - 00:14:04:02
Tylan Grant
Or no.
00:14:04:04 - 00:14:06:18
Tylan Grant
For the audio? Listen, I'm covering my mouth in disgust.
00:14:06:18 - 00:14:09:20
Ben Branson
Or that is a real.
00:14:09:20 - 00:14:10:12
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:14:10:14 - 00:14:11:04
Ben Branson
Yeah that's it.
00:14:11:06 - 00:14:15:24
Tylan Grant
I, I respect when they don't do that because also the continuity of that.
00:14:16:02 - 00:14:22:11
Tylan Grant
It's crazy. I actually maybe I do respect it because you have to keep eating like I've definitely done that on set where.
00:14:22:11 - 00:14:35:06
Tylan Grant
I've had a bite of a cake and they're like, okay, we're going to have to do or let's do this. Another angle I might end up eating like one bite of 15 pieces of cake. And it's not it's not cute, I'll.
00:14:35:06 - 00:14:36:01
Tylan Grant
Tell you that.
00:14:36:03 - 00:14:38:14
Ben Branson
How did the Hollyoaks role come about?
00:14:38:14 - 00:15:08:08
Tylan Grant
That was actually an open audition. They were specifically looking to cast someone autistic, and a close family friend sent me a link to like, the shoutout. And so I went to the audition. I got a callback and I didn't expect that. They gave me a sheet of the people I'd be meeting at the audition and, well, a picture of them where I'd be picture of the place really laid out for me.
00:15:08:10 - 00:15:16:19
Tylan Grant
All those things that are so helpful but have never really been done and I don't think, necessarily take up too much time to do.
00:15:16:20 - 00:15:18:15
Ben Branson
What did that do for you?
00:15:18:17 - 00:15:44:24
Tylan Grant
I think being autistic, the uncertainty of certain situations can really not set me up for a great time because I will be constant simultaneously, not trying to set an expectation just as a person. Let's not go in with crazy expectations or visualize this interaction or plan it out too much, because I don't know what it's going to look like.
00:15:44:24 - 00:16:02:07
Tylan Grant
And if it doesn't look like that, I don't want to freak out. Yeah. And so I know okay, this is I know when I get that this is who I'm seeing and I know what the building looks like, these are things that I don't need to worry about now, because you've given me a description of yourself and your name and your pitch.
00:16:02:07 - 00:16:25:04
Tylan Grant
I don't that uncertainty is is gone. And even just I think the gesture of that meant something for me. I think they, they were really trying to create a space where anyone that auditioned could really do what they needed to do without added stress or, you know, they were just trying to set us up for a good time.
00:16:25:06 - 00:16:35:12
Ben Branson
And how much of your time at Hollyoaks being autistic, playing an autistic character, how much of that was you?
00:16:35:12 - 00:16:55:11
Tylan Grant
There are a lot of things about this character that they wanted to get right, and so they went to me for and they wanted a reference maybe, and they wanted to understand. And they all did training. And I think there were a lot of traits in them that I really related to from an autistic perspective, because it felt very personal to me.
00:16:55:11 - 00:17:15:24
Tylan Grant
Some of those stories, and same with like being trans, I think they kind of try to go along with my journey as I was growing, and that was really good for me because I was worried that, like, I didn't come out for a while because I was like, I don't want to lose my job. And so they really wanted to get it right.
00:17:15:24 - 00:17:27:01
Tylan Grant
And so it just so happens that my character's journey kind of aligns with my journey in many ways, because, yeah, because I was going through kind of very similar thing this at the time.
00:17:27:01 - 00:17:42:10
Ben Branson
You were in that role for the 6 or 7 years. It, it, it sounds like there was a lot of effort gone to, to create a supportive and safe and environment as possible. That clearly has been a massive part of your journey.
00:17:42:10 - 00:17:45:19
Tylan Grant
Yeah, I practically grew up that yeah.
00:17:45:20 - 00:17:59:02
Ben Branson
You read a lot about young people that start acting and they get a big role and it can go really wrong. you know, and it can be really detrimental. But it sounds like that was really nurturing for you.
00:17:59:04 - 00:18:20:22
Tylan Grant
Yeah. Growing up with my parents, I, I was in spaces where I was in front of the public, in the public eye in some ways. So I understood that putting myself out, that I would receive, you know, a mix of responses, especially with something that is so close to who I am. And so I did have to prepare for that.
00:18:20:22 - 00:18:27:07
Tylan Grant
But I think that was effort that put in behind the scenes that helped. And yeah.
00:18:27:09 - 00:18:42:04
Ben Branson
Can we talk about gender dysphoria and autism? There have been some studies showing that link, but I wanted to hear from you your experience or or your views on that.
00:18:42:06 - 00:18:48:12
Tylan Grant
Yeah, I think there is a big correlation if my past, my research has means anything.
00:18:48:17 - 00:18:49:08
Tylan Grant
Which it does.
00:18:49:09 - 00:19:28:05
Tylan Grant
What I have learned is that there is a big crossover. I think the world is very black and white place, and as much as being autistic means that we fit into that in some ways where it's like, no, this is the very site, and in some ways there is also that gray area that we're constantly living in that we've had to kind of try and adapt out of to fit into this or that rather than nothing, because we've been taught that labels exist and, you know, you act like this certain person acts like this way, and, you know, this kind of person acts like this.
00:19:28:05 - 00:19:53:08
Tylan Grant
And so I don't think we necessarily that's not something that is always innate to some autistic people. And a lot of trans autistic people I've met have kind of shared that same sentiment. You know, these things are placed on us, but we know how we feel. And and so I think that can apply to a lot of different situations.
00:19:53:08 - 00:20:26:10
Tylan Grant
But when it comes to transness, I think it makes a lot of sense, especially for me feeling so wrong and being autistic, feeling like I couldn't discern why this wrongness, what that was because I think there's a big intersection. Growing up, I was like, I feel like an alien. I feel like I'm visiting here. But I'm not entirely aware of these social etiquettes that everyone seemingly has been taught when I was asleep or something.
00:20:26:12 - 00:20:49:07
Tylan Grant
And then being trans, I'm like, oh, but okay. So I, I feel like I need to over compensate in my the femininity that has been placed on me in order to feel the slightest bit like a woman. And that does not come natural at all, and that does not feel right at all. Neither of those things feel right.
00:20:49:09 - 00:21:23:14
Tylan Grant
And so it's like on both sides we're having to mask. And I think that is also why dysphoria can be really, really big. It can be just so overpowering and so overwhelming. I think it takes a lot of unlearning. It takes a lot of deconstructing things you've been taught and indoctrinated into. I think it takes a lot of reflection and.
00:21:23:16 - 00:21:47:01
Tylan Grant
Time to assess what feels right and where that comes from. And does this belong to me, and why do I think this is that? Because I've been told this because, I mean, I don't know if you have this, but sometimes I spend a while masking and I go home and I don't know how to undo it. and that can be so exhausting and so taxing.
00:21:47:01 - 00:22:12:21
Tylan Grant
And I think it can also apply to gender dysphoria, because I, I spent so much time in this kind of facade that I even convinced myself because I thought, oh, this is as good as it gets. So I just have to put up with this rather than being like, no, let's address there's something not right and it's not been right as long as you've known.
00:22:12:23 - 00:22:28:15
Ben Branson
How do you then get to a point where it's wrong enough? So, you want to do something about it. Tell me about that moment.
00:22:28:17 - 00:22:39:03
Tylan Grant
I came out is by when I was like 13 and I was like okay so I'm feeling something else but I, I'm, I'm getting bullied right now so I don't have time to think.
00:22:39:03 - 00:22:40:19
Tylan Grant
About this. I like kind.
00:22:40:19 - 00:22:41:24
Tylan Grant
Of shelved the trans.
00:22:42:01 - 00:22:43:19
Tylan Grant
Situation for a.
00:22:43:19 - 00:23:15:08
Tylan Grant
While until it got like completely unbearable. I think now that I am more comfortable in who I am, I feel like I am coming back to the younger me, and I feel like I relate more to that, that younger person like the point where I got so bad was where I had to figure out, am I going to choose acting or choose my gender of being comfortable myself?
00:23:15:08 - 00:23:20:19
Tylan Grant
Because I'm scared that if I come out, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm scared of the wow.
00:23:20:19 - 00:23:22:00
Tylan Grant
Do you know.
00:23:22:02 - 00:23:25:02
Tylan Grant
That I've protected myself from my entire life?
00:23:25:07 - 00:23:26:17
Ben Branson
Who did you talk to?
00:23:26:19 - 00:23:47:04
Tylan Grant
It's funny because I think I, I think I told people in many ways that they probably weren't either like, recollect or they weren't really have processed it. That was what I was doing. But I think there have been many times before it came out where I was like, hey guys, what if I just changed my name or something?
00:23:47:06 - 00:23:48:24
Tylan Grant
You know, like, what would you do that?
00:23:48:24 - 00:23:51:10
Ben Branson
Were people surprised?
00:23:51:12 - 00:24:16:17
Tylan Grant
I don't know, for me, it was different because I came out as non-binary before some my journey and like myself that felt more comfortable of course. But also I still knew that something lying beneath the surface I hadn't, that I couldn't unpick because I didn't know if other people would understand it. So I didn't want to like shock people.
00:24:16:17 - 00:24:22:07
Tylan Grant
And I was like, what if I, you know, make this a gradual. Yeah, gradual thing.
00:24:22:09 - 00:24:41:09
Ben Branson
Because when I told bit of not that I tell I everybody that I'm autistic, but telling people, I'm telling some people they weren't surprised. And so that led me to kind of think am I the last to know. Yeah.
00:24:41:11 - 00:24:46:24
Tylan Grant
Yeah. Sometimes I really relate to that.
00:24:47:01 - 00:25:03:03
Ben Branson
In some ways that's quite difficult to process of like, hold on. If other people are thinking or seeing the explanation for how my brain works and who I am, and I'm blind to it, I'm not seeing it. That's kind of what are.
00:25:03:03 - 00:25:04:08
Tylan Grant
Those blind spots?
00:25:04:08 - 00:25:05:01
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:25:05:03 - 00:25:10:04
Tylan Grant
And what are they revealing about you that you've spent so much time trying to like Moschino?
00:25:10:08 - 00:25:15:11
Ben Branson
But I think I'm doing a pretty good job. Yeah. Like trying to be normal. And I clearly am not.
00:25:15:11 - 00:25:15:23
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:25:15:23 - 00:25:37:15
Tylan Grant
I did see like a study or something. Don't quote me on this. Something like neurotypical people, there's something where their brain can just register when someone is not neurotypical. And it's not that they necessarily, like this person's autistic or this person's neurodivergent, but they're just like, no.
00:25:37:17 - 00:25:38:20
Ben Branson
Like a radar.
00:25:38:22 - 00:25:39:18
Tylan Grant
Yeah. It's weird.
00:25:39:23 - 00:25:56:09
Ben Branson
I'm trying to think Joe Black Tourette's drag comedian, very funny, amazing musician. And I'm pretty sure it was him who said he can. He can spot another Tourette's person across the room. Like, they can lock eyes and they know.
00:25:56:11 - 00:25:57:01
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:25:57:01 - 00:26:11:19
Ben Branson
And a bit like you're saying about I made a friend recently and that person also being autistic and it's like, boom, you're there, you're in immediately. And there isn't that need for all the explanation. We didn't have any small talk.
00:26:11:21 - 00:26:13:22
Tylan Grant
No. What's that?
00:26:13:24 - 00:26:17:17
Tylan Grant
What is that? I don't know what that is. What is it?
00:26:17:18 - 00:26:22:12
Tylan Grant
What is small talk and why is it small?
00:26:22:14 - 00:26:30:10
Ben Branson
I don't know, because I. I don't know what it is because I don't have, I don't I don't have any time for it.
00:26:30:12 - 00:26:32:20
Tylan Grant
Love to hear from someone that knows stuff about that.
00:26:32:21 - 00:26:34:14
Ben Branson
Yeah, I know autistic. Please tell.
00:26:34:14 - 00:26:36:15
Tylan Grant
Us, please, how to be small.
00:26:36:15 - 00:26:38:01
Ben Branson
Talk. Tell us the rules.
00:26:38:01 - 00:26:38:20
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:26:38:22 - 00:26:40:18
Ben Branson
Let's talk about anxiety.
00:26:40:20 - 00:26:41:12
Tylan Grant
Okay?
00:26:41:14 - 00:26:43:16
Ben Branson
I mean I'm anxious all the time.
00:26:44:22 - 00:27:03:07
Ben Branson
And I'm learning to I'm learning to use that. I'm learning to kind of like channel that and harness that. And that keeps me on my toes. And I feel alive and yeah, I feel like my, my brain brain's on and working to get anxious.
00:27:03:09 - 00:27:34:16
Tylan Grant
I do I used to have terrible anxiety. I just have very bad panic attacks a lot. Yeah, that was a very tough time. I know when I'm anxious, but I think that I just at some point was existing with that feeling in my body. And normalizing it in a way where it wasn't good for me, but I just didn't think it could get better.
00:27:34:16 - 00:28:00:17
Tylan Grant
But I started doing for me what really helped. I do transcendental meditation, and that really helped my anxiety. Like I meditated, I started when I was like 15. I had all different types and I still had very bad anxiety. But this is like very, very much helped me discern where that feeling is in my body. So when it does arise, I'm like, okay, this is happening.
00:28:00:17 - 00:28:18:01
Tylan Grant
Whereas when I first started TM, after a few weeks, I was like, wait a second, I've been anxious this whole like, I've just been existing like this and I now I know what it's like to not feel it. It's like I didn't realize that that's what I was feeling.
00:28:18:03 - 00:28:21:24
Ben Branson
Do you feel in your body? Do you feel connected to your body?
00:28:22:01 - 00:28:50:15
Tylan Grant
Yeah, I really do. I do in a way where I can't figure out, like my brain is an anxious place and my body is in an anxious place. But currently, like speaking like this over, over the past year or so, I've been able to be like, I'm feeling my body is feeling anxious rather than. Or my mind is feeling anxious, like I can discern and and unpick that and like notice that bit more than I could before.
00:28:50:19 - 00:29:20:22
Tylan Grant
But another thing that really helps when I'm going into social situations like if it's like a friend's birthday or I'm going to like a gathering, I always give myself permission to leave after half an hour before I go out. I'm like, okay, I'm going to go for half an hour to 45 minutes, show, show my face, and then I'm going to go home and I, I don't want to jinx it, but I usually end up being like one of the last people to leave.
00:29:20:22 - 00:29:24:22
Tylan Grant
I don't know, that's just what I found.
00:29:24:24 - 00:29:56:03
Tylan Grant
but it always helps for me to give myself permission to go, because I think the more time I spend with myself, the more comfortable I am with myself, and the more I enjoy myself, and the more I like myself. And so I notice how other people make me feel. And if that's a plus, or if that's a minus, if I'm drained, or if I'm feeling elated after that, I can pinpoint that way more than I could before, because my mind was a mess and I was always like, everywhere.
00:29:56:05 - 00:30:13:23
Ben Branson
I'm going to be really patronizing for a second time and just go, that's amazing that at 22 you can know that I have the awareness of that. Thank you. That's that's really grown up.
00:30:14:00 - 00:30:45:12
Tylan Grant
Thank you so much. It's taken a it's taken a while for me, but it's definitely been a journey I think. I think also just like letting things be lessons rather than internalizing it and then carrying it as if this is life like that's happened to me. So everything is happening to me rather than I'm going with life. And it's kind of like a video game, like when I leave the house, I'm like, okay, maybe that wasn't my most successful interaction, you know what I mean?
00:30:45:12 - 00:31:15:18
Tylan Grant
I'm like, okay, I could have done that differently. yeah. Okay. But I'm, I think there's less emphasis on I did this wrong because this past, like, this person didn't fill me like I was trying to get them to like me. But I do think I'm realizing that it's just as important that I like that person. I often, and maybe that's slightly selfish.
00:31:15:18 - 00:31:39:00
Tylan Grant
And, I mean, it can be selfish either way, but sometimes I go into interactions feeling like I, I'm controlling the amount of fun we have. Maybe that's an autistic thing. So I'm like, and if my like if someone I've just met, we might not even know each other that well. Maybe they're a bit quiet. I'm like, okay, so I need to overcompensate and I need to yap because they're not having fun right now.
00:31:39:02 - 00:31:49:11
Tylan Grant
and that's because it's all on me. And it's all on me. And I leave feeling like I would it was so bad. And then instead of being like, wait a second, did I even like that person like this?
00:31:49:13 - 00:31:51:03
Tylan Grant
Was I even having a good time.
00:31:51:03 - 00:31:52:21
Tylan Grant
Or was I just worrying about.
00:31:52:23 - 00:31:54:07
Tylan Grant
Controlling the environment?
00:31:54:07 - 00:31:54:15
Tylan Grant
I don't.
00:31:54:15 - 00:31:55:08
Tylan Grant
Know.
00:31:55:10 - 00:32:08:12
Ben Branson
Sorry. those things so much because, you're just talking the truth and and I can relate so much. I mean, the whole socializing is hard.
00:32:08:12 - 00:32:13:01
Tylan Grant
It's harder. I felt like that was just me as well. So, like.
00:32:13:03 - 00:32:18:24
Ben Branson
Yeah, it's really hard. I really love the permission to go just for half an hour.
00:32:19:05 - 00:32:20:16
Tylan Grant
It changes the game.
00:32:20:19 - 00:32:30:24
Ben Branson
And the trip and then you're there at the end. I think that's. Yeah, I think that's that's funny because quite often I don't even go right. So I just don't go.
00:32:31:01 - 00:32:31:12
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:32:31:17 - 00:32:43:23
Ben Branson
Rather than create better conditions for going. So rather than just it being yes or no and me saying yes, meaning I'm I got I got to be that.
00:32:44:03 - 00:32:44:20
Tylan Grant
Expectation.
00:32:44:20 - 00:32:49:11
Ben Branson
Or to take, I've got to be there for the whole thing and I'm going to have to talk to loads of people.
00:32:49:11 - 00:32:50:11
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:32:50:13 - 00:32:56:19
Ben Branson
It's just bringing that back and going, okay for a bit. Yeah. And and have an exit strategy.
00:32:56:20 - 00:33:20:18
Tylan Grant
You are in control of your night. Not other people's but your amount of fun. Yeah. And if you meet people that maybe they don't get you, maybe they think you're weird. That's on them because you're like the main character in your movie. So I like to see it like that. I'm like, okay, if I go out and I'm like, if I don't have a good time, I'm just going to go home because I know that I could have fun there.
00:33:20:19 - 00:33:22:12
Tylan Grant
You know?
00:33:22:14 - 00:33:24:12
Ben Branson
Yeah. And you know that you've got somewhere else.
00:33:24:12 - 00:33:25:19
Tylan Grant
Yeah, yeah.
00:33:25:24 - 00:33:29:19
Ben Branson
And that, that safe and that that's. Yeah. You've got those choices.
00:33:29:19 - 00:33:52:11
Tylan Grant
I think like that kind of aligns with my experience being autistic as well though, because it takes a lot of figuring yourself out, especially, I imagine, like if you've had a late diagnosis, your understanding the way you do things and so you're able to find strategies rather than just being like, this didn't work because, yeah, whatever.
00:33:52:11 - 00:33:54:04
Ben Branson
Rather than just being myself up.
00:33:54:05 - 00:33:55:00
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:33:55:02 - 00:33:56:23
Ben Branson
Because you got an explanation.
00:33:56:23 - 00:33:57:11
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:33:57:16 - 00:34:04:03
Ben Branson
And I have an understanding so I can do something about it.
00:34:04:05 - 00:34:04:14
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:34:04:19 - 00:34:05:13
Ben Branson
It's choices.
00:34:05:13 - 00:34:10:12
Tylan Grant
It's so helpful when you find out that there's nothing wrong with you.
00:34:10:14 - 00:34:15:15
Tylan Grant
It's just it's. Yeah, there are, like, ways for us to flourish.
00:34:15:15 - 00:34:23:08
Ben Branson
Yeah. Being autistic, how do you know what environments are going to be really good for you and what are not going to be really good for you?
00:34:23:10 - 00:34:47:00
Tylan Grant
It's a good question. I think sometimes fear and excitement feel the same for me. So I might be nervous to go out, but I'm also excited at the at the idea of that. Also, like not forcing anything as good if you're not the type of person that wants to socialize every day, then that's you're just not the type of person.
00:34:47:00 - 00:35:17:04
Tylan Grant
And that's something that has helped me, is to figure out the balance of of things, because I think it's super important to like charge yourself. And for me, feeling charged is when I'm at home watching a movie, playing guitar in nature, or seeing one of my best friends. For me, that's like a charge. And then maybe I'll feel like I can face certain things, whereas if I if I feel drained and I am, I tolerance will just be low.
00:35:17:04 - 00:35:25:09
Tylan Grant
And it's probably more likely that I'm gonna be overwhelmed. I could shut down if I'm if I'm feeling like I have nothing in me.
00:35:25:11 - 00:35:27:09
Ben Branson
How often do you shut down?
00:35:27:11 - 00:35:55:23
Tylan Grant
I'm quiet, introverted person, so sometimes if I keep, like, doing stuff without a break, everything gets louder, everything gets brighter, and everything gets just bigger and scarier for me. So I tend to shut down in those moments where I'm, like, exhausted. Or also sometimes I don't realize that I'm going to shut down. Like, I can't tell you when I'm going to shut down.
00:35:55:23 - 00:36:02:16
Tylan Grant
I might just be somewhere and I'm like, oh, just like it just happens sometimes.
00:36:02:18 - 00:36:03:13
Tylan Grant
You know.
00:36:03:15 - 00:36:05:16
Ben Branson
I'm at like once a month now.
00:36:05:16 - 00:36:10:02
Tylan Grant
I that's good. I, I'd say the same. I probably say the same.
00:36:10:04 - 00:36:27:07
Ben Branson
And again, I don't know, it's definitely linked to how much I've taken on my doing how social all that sort of stuff. Yeah. And therefore my energy levels and tiredness etc. but I don't know when it's going to happen.
00:36:27:09 - 00:36:32:10
Tylan Grant
Yeah, it's almost like it's a slow burn and then it just.
00:36:32:12 - 00:36:35:02
Ben Branson
My wife's better at recognizing.
00:36:35:03 - 00:36:37:07
Tylan Grant
Oh like the like the signs of.
00:36:37:08 - 00:36:37:15
Ben Branson
That's.
00:36:37:21 - 00:36:38:15
Tylan Grant
Pretty good.
00:36:38:20 - 00:36:40:23
Ben Branson
I'm pretty pretty good for her. It's not really good for me.
00:36:40:23 - 00:36:44:09
Tylan Grant
But you know. Yeah, it's not like hi I want.
00:36:44:09 - 00:36:50:01
Ben Branson
To try and yeah, I want to try and recognize or understand the patterns. Right. Of course I want to like.
00:36:50:07 - 00:36:50:21
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:36:50:22 - 00:36:53:14
Ben Branson
Know how it works so I can make it better.
00:36:53:16 - 00:36:59:10
Tylan Grant
But if you don't have that, the fact that you have someone that can see you, that's really important.
00:36:59:16 - 00:37:17:09
Ben Branson
Yeah, that's really helpful. Let's talk about your the things you're interested in. Because you said to me, people never ask me about like, my special interests. and I'm like, great. Well, I'm going to ask you.
00:37:17:11 - 00:37:20:22
Tylan Grant
I set myself up. Yeah. I just have one house up, guys.
00:37:21:02 - 00:37:24:10
Tylan Grant
I have another five hours. I will be talking about anything for.
00:37:24:10 - 00:37:26:06
Tylan Grant
The rest of this podcast.
00:37:26:06 - 00:37:27:19
Ben Branson
Give me three.
00:37:27:21 - 00:37:48:05
Tylan Grant
Ice hockey has to be the fast one. It's funny because I don't feel like, I liking ice hockey in London. It's too relatable. And so sometimes that feels really good because I'm like, that's for me. And it's like, yay! And but I'm not gonna lie, gets lonely sometimes. You know, you want someone to talk about it too.
00:37:48:07 - 00:37:56:13
Tylan Grant
And so for me, like my older sibling, like they're now into it, which is great. I want to say David Lynch for.
00:37:56:15 - 00:38:01:08
Ben Branson
What is it about David Lynch that you gravitate towards, do you think?
00:38:01:08 - 00:38:11:12
Tylan Grant
I think it might be similar to what we were talking about. When you see someone across the room and you know, they're they got a touch of the autism, you know.
00:38:11:14 - 00:38:18:15
Tylan Grant
I think, yeah, I might, he might just. So I think for me that was immediately the first.
00:38:18:15 - 00:38:40:11
Tylan Grant
Thing when I heard him talk, I was like, this guy, you can laugh all you want, but his mind is magnificent and he has so much of it because his ideas just a never ending. And so I, I think he's been such a source of inspiration because I've watched things that I never thought that I would be able to see.
00:38:40:11 - 00:39:00:09
Tylan Grant
Like he's just his eye is just incredible. Like the way he tells stories is incredible and also just the way he speaks. Like I heard about TM through him talking about it because he has, the David Lynch Foundation. and that's another thing. When I'm into hyper fixations, it's on his bleeds into other stuff.
00:39:00:09 - 00:39:02:08
Ben Branson
So that's to number three.
00:39:02:09 - 00:39:20:16
Tylan Grant
I think the default for me is the Muppets, because I've been obsessed with the Muppets since I was eight years old, and that's never going to end. So I'm not as crazy as I was before. I used to like, give away my lunch in primary school. Like my pack lunch. I'd give it away. So I use a during lunch.
00:39:20:16 - 00:39:45:11
Tylan Grant
I used to quiz people so I would get people to like, answer my Muppets quiz and if they got the answer right, A, B or C, they would get a bit of my lunch and I would be full of joy. But hungry. Hungry otherwise, but full because I've I've somehow convinced everyone to take interest in my interest.
00:39:45:11 - 00:39:49:14
Ben Branson
It's that important to you that other people are interested in what you're interested in?
00:39:49:15 - 00:40:12:06
Tylan Grant
Not necessarily. I don't think it's a thing where I want everyone to love what I love. There's more to me than my interest that doesn't define me as a person. But at the same time, like my bedroom, they they, they can highlight, you know, a little part of me, I think it can represent bits of me and my interests.
00:40:12:06 - 00:40:14:18
Ben Branson
They're parts of you, you expressing yourself. Yeah.
00:40:14:24 - 00:40:42:12
Tylan Grant
So I don't need them to be interested, but I it is nice being in an environment where you don't feel like you're speaking too much. Because another thing that is like, not spoken about. But I think actually I did see it talked about online recently was I'm pretty sure it was a neurotypical person. It was just someone they tweeted, I don't like when I'm talking to someone and they have to relay everything back to them.
00:40:42:14 - 00:41:08:11
Tylan Grant
And I really was like, okay, so I'm going to spiral for the next three hours because that's pretty much the foundation of every conversation I have is that's how I relate to people. That's how I understand things. And I never mean it to be, to come across as me being disinterested. It's it's me being like, I got it, you know, that's how conversations work in my brain.
00:41:08:11 - 00:41:19:06
Tylan Grant
But apparently that's not polite. So sometimes I think my interests bleed into conversations, but that's that's me trying to relate. It's not me trying to take over.
00:41:19:11 - 00:41:21:01
Ben Branson
Yeah. Or make it about you.
00:41:21:02 - 00:41:23:02
Tylan Grant
Yeah. No. That's never.
00:41:23:04 - 00:41:24:00
Ben Branson
It's. Hey. Yeah.
00:41:24:00 - 00:41:33:01
Tylan Grant
It's me trying to be like you're. And I understand what you're saying or you're seen because this also happened to me. Or I also like this.
00:41:33:03 - 00:41:40:08
Ben Branson
So earlier you talked about ice hockey and then I said, oh my God, have you seen The Mighty Ducks?
00:41:40:08 - 00:41:41:13
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:41:41:15 - 00:41:47:19
Ben Branson
So I took the conversation off like, oh no, we're not talking about you talking about ice hockey. I'm not talking about what I know about, like.
00:41:47:19 - 00:41:49:04
Tylan Grant
This fills me with joy.
00:41:49:04 - 00:41:50:13
Ben Branson
But we got really excited.
00:41:50:16 - 00:41:52:05
Tylan Grant
Yeah. Moment. Yeah.
00:41:52:05 - 00:41:56:23
Ben Branson
That was a really excitable US moment.
00:41:56:23 - 00:41:59:19
Tylan Grant
Yeah. Right.
00:41:59:21 - 00:42:02:09
Ben Branson
Bellows standing there going okay.
00:42:02:11 - 00:42:04:04
Tylan Grant
Oh my gosh, 100% okay.
00:42:04:04 - 00:42:05:06
Ben Branson
You guys just yeah.
00:42:05:06 - 00:42:09:10
Tylan Grant
Okay. Whatever. Those moments are so special to me because.
00:42:09:12 - 00:42:16:00
Tylan Grant
It is that that that is kind of what I was talking about. But the relating thing. But then I feel.
00:42:16:02 - 00:42:18:08
Tylan Grant
Closer to you because.
00:42:18:10 - 00:42:26:02
Tylan Grant
You relate to that, to something else that I it's all like a threat, you know, but it always goes back to.
00:42:26:04 - 00:42:45:00
Ben Branson
Yeah. And then we could talk about my ducks too. And we didn't like that as much. Yeah. Yeah. That's a, that's to me that was that's a great way of relating to you and you going, oh, this kind of weird guy that I'm going to sit down with and chat to now. Okay, I get it. Okay. Wait, did.
00:42:45:00 - 00:42:46:17
Tylan Grant
You say weird guy? Me?
00:42:46:23 - 00:42:49:09
Tylan Grant
No, no,
00:42:49:11 - 00:42:55:15
Tylan Grant
Only in a good way. That's what I say. Weird in a good way. And I've always. And I've always said that about myself.
00:42:55:15 - 00:42:56:01
Ben Branson
And I.
00:42:56:01 - 00:42:58:10
Tylan Grant
Thank you and other weird in a good way people.
00:42:58:13 - 00:43:00:03
Ben Branson
Would. Do you like about your brain?
00:43:00:05 - 00:43:33:01
Tylan Grant
It still feels like I know the person that I was when I was a kid. Like, I have never, stopped asking questions or stopped being curious or lost interest in the world around me. Like, I still see beauty everywhere I go. And so that kind of also means that I can kind of find inspiration everywhere. And so even in my conversation with people, I think sometimes I might take something else from that conversation than they did.
00:43:33:01 - 00:43:44:21
Tylan Grant
They might have just seen it as an interaction. And but I'm like, I repeat the same sentence they said in my head for the next 20 minutes. I'm like, I like that. Like, or the way you said that, and I don't know, there's little things like that.
00:43:44:21 - 00:43:48:19
Ben Branson
The I made a friend recently is what I like that's going.
00:43:48:21 - 00:43:50:04
Tylan Grant
I thought you made a friend recently.
00:43:50:04 - 00:43:59:06
Tylan Grant
I was like, yeah, you made a friend recently. Not for that's for. I don't even know why I'm.
00:43:59:08 - 00:44:00:19
Ben Branson
Fixed on that phrase.
00:44:00:20 - 00:44:01:21
Tylan Grant
But yeah.
00:44:02:01 - 00:44:10:22
Ben Branson
Yeah. Sometimes the selection of words is, is, I don't know, I'm just like, I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna I like that phrase. I'm gonna take that phrase.
00:44:11:16 - 00:44:48:07
Tylan Grant
And I think I'm able to appreciate myself more when I'm around people that get it. Because when I'm in spaces that are less adaptable or less understanding or less tolerant, I have to dilute myself. And so that's when it feels like a weakness. But when I'm out of those spaces and when I'm able to kind of reset and like come back to myself or I'm in spaces like this where is really open and people get it and it's great, and I'm around lovely people, then I feel super good.
00:44:48:07 - 00:45:11:04
Tylan Grant
I feel like I'm able to use my perspective on my differences for the better and like I'm given the space to to do that and so it's less about what I think is good about myself. It's more to me all of it's good. It's what the other people think isn't, you know.
00:45:11:06 - 00:45:18:07
Ben Branson
What's the one thing you think young people need to hear about autism?
00:45:18:09 - 00:45:58:10
Tylan Grant
People are so multi faceted and there are so many different intersections and no one is ever just one thing. And being autistic, not so like so many different ways. there is not just one way to be autistic. It's not like one size fits all, like 12 signs of the zodiac type of thing. It's very much, you know, there are things that I might find more difficult or I do differently and that might look different and that might not look like someone else who is autistic.
00:45:58:10 - 00:46:38:05
Tylan Grant
Or am I look the same. And so, just having that awareness and having the understanding. Yeah. It's interesting. I feel like being autistic and the world of neurodiverse agents has changed so much. in like the Gen Z sphere, which I'm still understanding myself because I, 22 and I so like, even like my younger brothers, but like their friends and, the internet for them, they understand autism differently and.
00:46:38:05 - 00:46:39:11
Ben Branson
What they.
00:46:39:13 - 00:47:13:08
Tylan Grant
I think there's been like a resurgence of ableism and a different way. I think we were making progress. But then in a way, like, because it's more of a conversation whenever things, are spoken about more on a bigger scale, and there's more information out there and there's more understanding out there, there's also people that are against, like, I sometimes I like I'm on Instagram Reels, there's like a picture, video and people like, there's a thing like called acoustic.
00:47:13:10 - 00:47:36:15
Tylan Grant
I don't know if you seen that. People in the comments will be like, are they acoustic? And it's meant to be like, are they autistic? And it's like that. Everyone saying the acoustic, it's just like a trend, I guess. But I personally don't find it funny. I just find it very strange that we're doing that now. Like I think in some ways, because more of a conversation, some people are getting a little too comfortable, okay.
00:47:36:21 - 00:47:43:17
Tylan Grant
Some people being neurotypical, people speaking on autistic people and labeling people as acoustic and.
00:47:43:19 - 00:47:44:19
Tylan Grant
Stuff like that.
00:47:44:20 - 00:47:49:21
Ben Branson
That really, like acoustic has a meaning.
00:47:49:23 - 00:47:50:10
Tylan Grant
Yeah.
00:47:50:13 - 00:47:51:09
Ben Branson
Of its own.
00:47:51:15 - 00:47:56:14
Tylan Grant
It's. Yeah. It's like, like an acoustic guitar. Acoustic guitar. Like. Yeah.
00:47:56:16 - 00:47:59:14
Ben Branson
So a my brain is going, but that is just wrong.
00:47:59:16 - 00:48:00:11
Tylan Grant
It doesn't.
00:48:00:14 - 00:48:01:18
Ben Branson
Yeah, yeah.
00:48:01:18 - 00:48:10:12
Tylan Grant
It's autistic. Yeah. It's like, come on guys. It's very strange. Yeah I think we've.
00:48:10:12 - 00:48:24:23
Tylan Grant
Improved in some ways by the same time also like. Yeah, people are getting a little I think just knowing the spaces you're in sometimes and actually speaking to autistic people rather than making assumptions is a very good thing to do.
00:48:25:01 - 00:48:27:02
Ben Branson
You finished at Hollyoaks?
00:48:27:04 - 00:48:29:13
Tylan Grant
I have, yeah, I finished in December.
00:48:29:13 - 00:48:31:02
Ben Branson
How is that?
00:48:31:04 - 00:48:45:08
Tylan Grant
That was surreal. It felt very unreal until like I think the last week and I also happened to be pretty ill at the last day. I had like a crazy fever and I think my body was just like, oh.
00:48:45:08 - 00:48:50:02
Tylan Grant
Like you're leaving. Like purging. Like what? It was like going crazy because.
00:48:50:04 - 00:48:51:02
Tylan Grant
I don't think I had.
00:48:51:02 - 00:48:52:17
Tylan Grant
Mentally, it.
00:48:52:17 - 00:49:07:04
Tylan Grant
Hadn't really caught up with me. And also because the episodes come out like five weeks later. So even though I had left in December, people only knew and maybe early February, late January. So that was interesting.
00:49:07:06 - 00:49:10:00
Ben Branson
This sort of happens twice, therefore, doesn't it? So like you.
00:49:10:00 - 00:49:12:08
Tylan Grant
Leave, but I can't even say that I've left.
00:49:12:12 - 00:49:14:14
Ben Branson
What's the plan now?
00:49:14:16 - 00:49:30:06
Tylan Grant
So since I have a short film that has is coming out called Surprise Baby by Izzy Nick Bay, and I'm really excited for that. That was great. I have never been in a space where.
00:49:30:08 - 00:49:31:12
Tylan Grant
The crew.
00:49:31:14 - 00:49:43:04
Tylan Grant
Kind of reflect the people on screen, because sometimes it's like on screen there's representation, but then behind the scenes it's like a bunch of white cis guys. Do you know what I mean?
00:49:43:06 - 00:49:43:20
Tylan Grant
So like.
00:49:43:23 - 00:50:06:14
Tylan Grant
I was working with a trans director and like that was just amazing. Like, I think we've really clicked and I think the story was pretty personal for him. So we were able to like, meet each other on that level. And it felt very special to do and very healing to do, because it was something that just feels very important, especially right now.
00:50:06:16 - 00:50:34:12
Tylan Grant
And it's a story centering around a trans person and a couple who, having a baby shower. However, my character hasn't come out and they decided that they were not going to come out and they're going to tell their girlfriend that they are trans. They don't. Do they know that? The girlfriend's mother has made it a surprise gender reveal?
00:50:34:14 - 00:50:39:22
Tylan Grant
So there's kind of like a paradigm gender.
00:50:39:24 - 00:50:47:13
Tylan Grant
yeah. Messiness going on and fighting between, you know, the roles of.
00:50:47:15 - 00:50:57:19
Tylan Grant
The whole idea of gender reveals and that coinciding with their relationship and their understanding of themselves and how that is all going to work out, do.
00:50:57:19 - 00:51:00:15
Ben Branson
You find gender confusing as a concept?
00:51:00:15 - 00:51:03:03
Tylan Grant
Yeah, the gender as a concept is very strange.
00:51:03:03 - 00:51:05:05
Ben Branson
It's really confusing, isn't it?
00:51:05:07 - 00:51:24:24
Tylan Grant
And I never had any attachment to that. Well, I guess for me I did, but it didn't align with what was given to me, obviously. But, it was definitely something that I knew I was being taught, you know, I mean, I was very conscious of it, you know.
00:51:24:24 - 00:51:39:16
Ben Branson
Unlike it's so wise beyond your years, like coming out and saying things like that, that when you were younger, you even realized that you were being taught gender, like.
00:51:39:18 - 00:51:41:17
Tylan Grant
Who are you? Like.
00:51:41:19 - 00:51:43:17
Ben Branson
So why is,
00:51:43:19 - 00:51:47:16
Tylan Grant
Oh, yes. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. But yeah, this I.
00:51:47:16 - 00:51:52:06
Tylan Grant
Unlocked it though. I had to relearn it again. Okay. Because I kind of got caught and,
00:51:52:08 - 00:51:55:18
Tylan Grant
You know, do you in the web.
00:51:55:20 - 00:51:58:23
Ben Branson
Do you think about things a lot?
00:51:59:00 - 00:52:04:14
Tylan Grant
in general? Yeah. Yeah, I think I think a little too much sometimes.
00:52:04:20 - 00:52:06:00
Ben Branson
Does that get you in trouble?
00:52:06:06 - 00:52:22:24
Tylan Grant
I get post hang out anxiety. So in the moment I will be fine and I'll be like, oh, I'm doing so well. Yeah, yeah. And then I go home and I'm like, oh my gosh, why do I say that? I try not to think too much though, you know?
00:52:23:01 - 00:52:23:21
Ben Branson
Yeah, I think it's.
00:52:23:21 - 00:52:35:15
Tylan Grant
Good to just take things at face value sometimes because my biggest fear is like becoming insane. To be honest, my biggest fear is thinking too much that I break myself.
00:52:35:17 - 00:52:51:09
Ben Branson
Yeah, overthinking is, can be a dangerous thing. Yeah, yeah, can be. It can be a dangerous thing. And and will you after this when we when we finish. What you think back over our conversation.
00:52:51:15 - 00:52:56:23
Tylan Grant
Probably I, I it would be nice to say no I probably will though.
00:52:57:00 - 00:53:37:03
Ben Branson
I was both really excited to meet you. Tottenham. I was also nervous about this episode. I don't have the same experience as you. I'm not the same age as you, but you are wise beyond your years. You have such a healthy, beautiful sense of yourself and self-awareness. I've learned a lot and I know the people listening and watching are going to learn so much to, and I'm very grateful for that.
00:53:37:05 - 00:54:20:02
Tylan Grant
I think to an extent that I do have a duty and sharing who I am and speaking openly and answering questions, because not it might not be that I can answer every question, but it's very easy to say Google is free, but I have a platform and I'm here. And if you ask a question that opens up an amazing door for discussion and learning, and I think that should always be encouraged rather than shut down.
00:54:20:04 - 00:54:29:08
Ben Branson
Oh, you're great. No, great. And you're wise and you're insightful. Yeah. Just thanks. It's been great to chat to you.
00:54:29:08 - 00:54:33:10
Tylan Grant
Thank you so much. I've had so much fun. Like, I'm so lucky to be here right now.
00:54:33:10 - 00:54:34:18
Ben Branson
Yeah. Thank you.
00:54:34:20 - 00:54:41:22
Tylan Grant
Thank you.
00:54:41:24 - 00:55:08:19
Ben Branson
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00:55:08:19 - 00:55:34:05
Ben Branson
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